


Hope and Fear

by irisis



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-09-23
Updated: 2008-09-23
Packaged: 2017-10-15 16:37:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/162763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irisis/pseuds/irisis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A short addition to Equinox, Part II. Janeway and Chakotay discuss recent events.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hope and Fear

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> Written for VAMB Secret Drabble exchange 2008.

“I’m not afraid of you.”

 

Chakotay’s quiet, unexpected words startled Kathryn from her thoughts. She had suggested they retire to her quarters for coffee following the impromptu potluck Neelix had held in the Mess Hall that evening. They had been sitting in near silence for the past fifteen minutes, both lost in their own thoughts, their quickly cooling drinks left forgotten on the table that seemed to represent a barrier between them. The room was dimly lit.

 

Kathryn raised a hand slightly, a long ago established signal that he should continue.

 

Her first officer took a deep breath. “I know how aggressive you can be at times, but I’ve never been afraid of you or of what you might do." He paused for a moment before continuing. "But I have to admit, you scared the hell out of me outside that Cargo Bay today.”

 

Kathryn sat straighter in her chair with a long sigh. “Commander…” Her voice sounded even more husky than usual as a result of the strain she had been under during the past week.

 

He quickly interrupted before she could continue: “With respect Captain, I need reassurance that the command relationship hasn’t been compromised beyond repair. If that's not the case, then perhaps it’s not in Voyager’s best interests for me to continue as First Officer.”

 

Kathryn stared at him, horrified. The look in his eyes told her he was completely serious. It was just like Chakotay to put the welfare of Voyager and her crew - and especially her Captain, if she was entirely honest - before his own needs.

 

With a sad smile she crossed the room and joined him on the sofa, where she hesitated a moment before resting a hand on his shoulder. “Please don't say that, Chakotay,” she said in a very low voice.

 

His gaze softened at her tone, and he gave her hand a gentle squeeze in encouragement. He was afraid she would pull away, but to his relief she didn't.

 

“I know I was the one who crossed the line today.”

He didn't disagree.

 

Her eyes appeared unusually bright in the dim light. “And as a result I worry that perhaps I've lost your respect, Chakotay. On a... personal level."

 

Slowly releasing her hand from his own, he drew away slightly and switched his focus to the contents of his mug. "Are we still talking about the events of the last few days, Kathryn?"

She didn't reply. He realised she was staring into the bottom of her own coffee.

"Damn it Kathryn, I can't keep going round in circles," he cried. He softly placed his hand under her chin and slowly lifted her head until she had no choice but to meet his gaze.

Her reply came in a hurt whisper: "You know I can't." She pulled away as if repelled by the intensity of his gaze. "At least we were able to have the one night, Chakotay," she exclaimed in desperation, quickly retreating to her original position in the chair on the other side of the table.

He closed his eyes and remembered a warm and clammy evening overlooking a starry lake on New Earth. He shuddered slightly. "You've never directly mentioned that night before."

"I think about that night all the time." But she could never allow herself to want to go back for more.

Their eyes met briefly.

"I promise I will never allow you to cross the line again. But you'll have to promise not to mention that night again... unless you decide you want to re-live it. I don't think I can be held responsible for my actions otherwise," he said with a smirk.

She smiled in embarrassment. This was a side of Chakotay she had come to know very well during their time on New Earth. "Agreed."

Their eyes met for the last time that evening. An agreement had been made.

"Good night, Chakotay."

"Good night, Kathryn."

As he left her quarters, he couldn't help but hope he had correctly interpreted the look in her eyes.


End file.
